he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
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