Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Terrible idea I love it
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize
