found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
