Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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