i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
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