DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Randomize
