with your own penis?
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Randomize
