I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
