I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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