I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
