Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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