I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
