She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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