I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Randomize
