I'm pants shitting drunk right now
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
