dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
