Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
