so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
