So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
3pm strippers are depressing
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Randomize
