Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
