Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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