You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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