We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
