Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
