quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Randomize
