plz talk dirty to me
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
