I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Randomize
