what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
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