I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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