"it" just moved
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
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