I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
