woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
