oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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