apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
