New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Randomize
