I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
