When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Drunk is not a location!
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
