don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
