haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
