i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
