he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
