Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
