its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
