Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize