Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
