Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
