sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
