so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
You were trust falling into bushes
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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