I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Is Oprah even human
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Everclear isn't food dammit
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
