well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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