the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
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